#(I put them somewhere non-binary... but a masc non-binary

[beedok]

Because I mostly talk about trans fem headcanons, have some trans masc ones (varying levels of canonicity, certainty, and... binary-ness):

[velvetvexations]

Ik you’ve posted asks about this before but I just have to put this somewhere- as a lifelong my chemical romance fan, atp I have to go out of my way to avoid mcr fandom spaces online because of the CONSTANT misgendering of Gerard. Afaik he uses he/they pronouns, but it feels like 7/10 times I see a post about them on here, the OP and a ton of people in the tags use she/her. He has a handful of stage characters that are implied to be women- I am NOT talking about using she/her for their stage personas, I am specifically talking about the way a Ton of mcr fans use she/her for Gerard Way The Actual Human Being in passing like it’s part of his pronoun set (which again. afaik, it’s not). I just do not understand why it’s acceptable to misgender a nonbinary person as long as that nonbinary person happens to be AMAB. Ik it’s not a perfect comparison, but I’ve never ever seen anyone refer to an AFAB nonbinary celebrity as he/him when they use she/they so all I’m saying is: why is there such a fucking double standard for misgendering as long as the person being misgendered happens to present masc-leaning?? like it’s still misgendering even if it’s slapped in a progressive queer-affirming coat of paint?? “it’s not that deep” I think knowingly misgendering (even for a stupid tumblr joke!) anyone is bad always and you shouldn’t do it actually. (also don’t get me started on the way it seems like atp people see he/they basically go “awwwwww you’re not a real man anyways so I don’t have to treat you like one :)” I feel like this plays into what I’m talking about somehow but idk) hope you’re having a lovely day <3

it's kinna wild for a non-binary celebrity to give their pronouns just for people to use a completely different set they prefer instead

[liffy-feelin-jiffy]

Team Emperor Headcanons

Disclaimer: some of these headcanons may either slightly or heavily contradict with the canon (and your headcanons), that’s why it’s important to highlight that these are just headcanons and do not affect canon whatsoever. These headcanons are also likely to change as the story progresses or if I suddenly decide one day that I don’t like one of these headcanons and decide to change it. This post is likely due to change in general because I often come up with more random headcanons all the time so be aware

(Just so you know, there has been edits to this post. And there likely will be plenty more to come! So if you see some differences since you last read this post, now you know why)

Emperor

His real name is King. His full name is King Enperry.

Pan and polyamorous. Also a trans masc non-binary, only going by he/him pronouns. Many people don’t even notice he’s nonbinary until he tells you himself.

Wasian—his mother is Japanese ethnic and his father is American ethnic. He gets his eyes from his mum and his english accent from his father.

He and Prince are Pearl’s cousins. They were the first people she told about her relationship with Marina. They both still keep in touch with the musical pair to this day.

He and Prince were well known for being fashion models for the most popular clothing lines, most often Enperry. Emperor would randomly sign himself and Prince—sometimes even Pacer and Jr—up for modeling roles and they would get chosen more often than not. Now, Emperor only signs up for modeling sparingly, while Prince still partakes in it often.

Owns a pretty nice Road King motorcycle that he got for his 20th birthday. Broom broom.

His hands are as cold as the Himalayas. Although, they got warmer when he started working at the Crust Bucket.

He’s actually a pretty good singer and can play the piano well. Pearl sometimes jokes about him hitching along with her and Marina as another vocalist and piano player—or he plays it off as a joke while Pearl is actually serious about the suggestion.

He only plays the piano when he desperately wants to express emotion, which is probably why his playing always sounds so poetic and full of feeling.

He only sings when he’s alone to himself, but if he finds out that he is in fact not alone then he’s gonna shut his mouth soooo fast. If he’s full of alcohol, then he’s probably gonna be the first one to get up on the karaoke stage and bust it out Brendon Urie style.

I like to think he’s a real flirt. He likes to smile and wink, give some warm bedroom eyes, or just casually compliment random people’s appearance sometimes, mostly if he’s already met them before. He kinda just finds it fun to do because he knows he’s got that charm. But Emperor ESPECIALLY loves to do it to N-Pacer or Eging jr because it always makes them so blushy and he loves them. (Prince is sick of it every time his brother does it)

One time Emperor tried playfully flirting with Specs, and the poor guy got so confused as to why he was doing it, but it also blossomed into a short lasting crush lmao

After a while of when he started working with Crusty Sean, he discovered a newfound passion in cooking and culinary. His cooking skills in general also began to improve significantly, impressing his friends and family. Emperor began dreaming of someday opening up a lavish restaurant of his own in Inkopolis.

He’s keeping watch over the Crust Bucket in the square while Crusty Sean is on his trip, with Goggles sometimes coming over to help him out. He’s tried to experiment with some of the foods before, but not without having taste testers like his brother, N Pacer and Eging Jr give him input first before putting it on the menu.

His favorite type of food would have to be spicy food; bonus if it’s sweet n spicy. He really enjoys Army’s curry. Yum yum.👌🏻

He has a large crown made of real gold hiding somewhere in his closet, passed down to him by his mother.

When he's sleeping, he's gonna grab for something. Whether it be a pillow, a plushie, or whatever misfortunate soul snoozing next to him. He will grab onto them and wrap around them like a snake and just cuddle with them until he wakes up. His hold is strong, too, so good luck getting to the restroom without waking him up.

He moved out of his parents’ mansion when he was 21 and decided to move into a cozy cottage with N Pacer and Squidkid Jr on the edge of Inkopolis in a rural estate. Ever since he moved, he kept reminding Prince that his doors were always open if he wanted to come join him. While his little brother was grateful, he declined the offer every time.

Born in a very rich family who owned half of the Enperry corporation alongside Pearl’s parents. His mother was incredibly strict and always expected the best out of him. She put him on such a high pedestal since the day he hatched and was determined to make sure he lived his legacy up to her standards in terms of turf war and inheriting the Enperry company, since Pearl was focusing on her career in music with Marina. Emperor was typically able to meet her expectations, and her constant praise only strengthened his own ego, making him spoiled, arrogant and cocky.

His father was a lot more laid back in raising him and Prinz. While Emperor was still arrogant, his father still tried to teach him the importance of generosity and doing good for others, even though it often fell on deaf ears—save for Prince. He believed that Emperor deserved to follow his own passion and decide his own future himself, and was very proud when he found out Emperor got a job at the Crust Bucket, in contrast to his mother, who was disgusted. His father was very upset with how Emperor’s mother, Elaine, decided to raise him and Prinz, but she often made it seem like his decision never mattered.

Emperor’s parents’ marriage was arranged. They were never truly in love. They don’t hate each other, but they disagree on multiple things and more often than not have they so heavily desired in divorcing each other. They tried to make it work at first, but they just weren’t meant to be. The father, Agate (I’m changing his name because Topaz was someone else’s headcanon for his name), was arranged to marry Elaine because they were both in rich families, and those families wanted to keep within the bounds of a high social status and inherit large companies for more money.

His parents did eventually get divorced. When Emperor had begun to see through his mother’s bullshit and moved out, his parents both finally decided to divorce and move on with their lives. While his father and Prince kept in touch with him, his mother stopped talking to him altogether, seemingly cutting all ties with him after he admitted he didn’t want to be head of Enperry and wanted to pursue his own career choice in culinary.

Despite his mother’s neglect toward Prince, Emperor often looked out for his little brother somewhat as they up grew together, as requested by his father. Even if he sarcastically complimented and dismissed Prince typically, he really did care for him. After after his defeat against Team Blue, he started to make it more abundantly clear how much he cared for Prince, and they grew significantly closer with each other and started acting more like brothers.

He’s in a poly relationship with Squidkid Jr and N Pacer. He knew Jr the longest, as they’re childhood friends and met through their fathers being close friends. They met N-Pacer during high school years (despite not even going to public school. They just hung out around the local campus to look cool and ogle at the ladies) and they both fell in love. It wasn’t long until they began mentoring her in turf war and then used her to replace their old, snarky teammate who was assigned to the team by Emperor’s mother.

His mother DEFINETELY did not like N-Pacer when they first met, especially when it seemed obvious that Emperor had the hots for her. She thought N-Pacer was anything but worthy of ever having her son's hand in marriage, being the “impoverished pest “ she considered her. It was because of that, she tried to hook Emperor up specifically with a bunch of other rich girls, less boys because she really wanted grandkids. Agate thought she was a nice girl and felt so sympathetic when he heard about her struggling home life.

His mother and father were quite shocked when Emperor admitted he and Eging Jr were also a thing, while Papa Eging was quite happy for them. He said something to Eging Jr like "I'm actually glad you chose him of all people, because that assures me that you'll have someone to look out for ya!" He was also very sweet towards N-Pacer when he met her too. Eging Jr’s mom honestly didn’t care honestly, just as long as her boy was happy.

He always makes sure to keep in touch with Blue Team or asks about them whenever he talks with Prince. He and Prince used to invite Specs to family dinners whenever they could, but their mother didn’t allow him to come until she found out how popular and skill his team was and let him come just because he seemed worthy enough of the Enperrys’ presence.

Prince

His real name is Prinz (like in the official English translation)

On the aroace spectrum, but tends to show signs of the gay. 🏳️‍🌈 🫵🏻

FUCK IT HE TRANSMASC 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ When he came out to his brother he was like “Oh, ok, I guess I have a brother then.” Mans ain’t transphobic ✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻

(Except Emperor kinda took it as he could lightly bully his brother a little more cuz he’s a dude now…. Uh, oddest way to be an ally?)

Wasian, just like Emperor. He looks just like his father while his voice sounds eerily similar to his mother.

He was somewhat reluctant when Laceless asked him out, as he was worried it would negatively affect their relationship as mentor and apprentice on the battlefield. (Also because he wasn’t really enthusiastic about getting into a relationship.) When he asked his cousin and brother for advice, they told him to just try it and see where it goes, and it’s gone pretty good ever since. His father knows but his mother doesn’t, as he’s worried how she’ll react to him being in a relationship with a “commoner”. Even after all this time, he’s still never told her.

When Emperor moved out with N Pacer and Jr, Prince was determined to build his own team himself. He invited Splat Jr (splattershot jr) onto the team and began to teach him everything he knew. He also invited a friend of his, Lilith, to join his team for a little while, and she displayed such spectacular skills so they wanted to keep her around, but she eventually left to start her own group, winding up somewhere in Splatsville—so the fourth role is open for tryouts! Mitsuami eventually joined the team upon becoming more popular within both Splatsville and Inkopolis after the Splatsville Turf cup. He calls his new team “Team Prince” and aims to increase their skills and discover techniques in both turf war and ranked battles. He is very proud of his team. :)

Since Emperor decided to decline the opportunity in inheriting the Enperry corporation, Prinz took the offer instead. Since then, Elaine began to show him more attention and give him more of her approval, but he only found her behavior insulting because he knew she was only acting like that to him because Emperor didn’t want to own the company like their mother previously expected, so she was trying to butter him up and get on his good side in hopes of getting some of that dough.

His mother, Elaine, was mostly neglectful during his upbringing. He often grew jealous of Emperor for the constant attention and praise he got while nothing Prince did ever seemed to make her to bat an eye to him. Plus, Emperor often didn't take him as seriously as he did later on, and to this day it still bothers him a little bit. There’s also the inner-family controversy about her being upset that he “decided to transition” because she wanted a daughter apparently… Not that she treated Prince with anymore respect before he came out 😑. Agate (his father) and Pearl supported him all they could, along with his aunt, uncle, and even his dad’s friend, the original Squidkid and his wife who all tried spoil him with nice gifts. They all mean a lot to him.

When he and his dad moved out of the mansion and away from his mother, Prince began to discover his newfound mischievous nature and began to find ways to (harmlessly) prank his friends and his dad. They all get a good laugh out of each other at the end.

He looks up to Squidkid Jr and N-Pacer as older siblings. He likes to take them along with him when he signs up for modeling. They kill it every time. Prinz also sees the original Squidkid and his wife as second uncle and aunt figures, since they spent a lot of time around each other’s families since Prince was little.

He also likes to bring Aloha and his roommate, Lilith, for modeling gigs. Aloha adores the clothes and the attention, but while Lilith also adores trying on a lot of the clothes, she gets all shy when people recognize her in public. 👉🏻👈🏻

Ngl I think he would be a theater kid, or have a fascination for musicals at least. He likes to dance to their genre of music because he finds them ethereally unique. He can act a little bit—he tries his best—but he could never be able to tell a lie to someone’s face (he’s tried)

I think he’d also have a fascination for true crime and mystery in general—mostly murder mystery or just mature mystery kind of stuff. Not because of the horror at the death and all the suspense, but he finds the detective’s process of looking for clues and solving the cases to be quite intriguing. At one point he was even thinking about becoming a detective himself, but then he decided to take over the his family company instead, so his detective dream had to be shelved…. For another day, perhaps.

After the King Cup turf war, he became close friends and hangs out with all of the S4. Aloha takes him out for milkshakes and shopping, Prince gives Army samples from Emperor’s food experiments, Mask takes him to the arcade, and Prince and his team like to train with Skull and his team.

He’s more closed off towards strangers and new people, but once he gets to know them, he likes to give and get hugs. He, Bobble and Goggles are hugger extraordinaires.

Became close friends with Blue Team after the king cup arc, especially with Specs after some time. Sometimes both teams will come to share battle strategy meetings and offer very informative suggestions and advice. They also train together a lot.

He also tried to help hype up Specs in asking out Headphones when word got out that they both had a crush on each other.

He may have got a growth spurt, but he was a late bloomer when it came to his voice. Laceless ended up getting the deeper voice treatment before he did, and Prince spent a good while sounding younger than him.

Ever since he became team leader, many people began complimenting him for his leadership skills, especially Emperor, which at the time was surprising. It made him feel so happy and seen, and it chewed away any he self-consciousness he had about himself.

He doesn't snore, but he drools in his sleep because he sleeps with his mouth open. He also sometimes mutters in his sleep. It can range from silly, adorable, to tear jerking

Squidkid/Eging Jr

Real name is Alonzo Jr (his father’s name is Alonzo)

Bi man, polyamorous too

Bit of a spoiled rich kid, due to growing up in a rather privileged, lavish household. Now he’s mostly just a sporty snob who enjoys barbecues.

Pretty good on the skateboard and roller blades. They see me rolliiiiin’, they hatiiiin’

You’d never hear anyone else scream at a live sports game on tv or in person as loud as he does. Coming from a father who’s very well known in sports, he takes that kind of stuff a little too seriously. He’s gotta put a $20 bill in the swear jar after every game time

He’s smarter than many people think. Even if it weren’t for his great skills in sports, he’d still get accepted into a good college based on his straight A grades, ESPECIALLY in his gym classes. Just like his daddy, he was the best basketball player in his entire school. He tutored Emperor and Prince a lot when they struggled with homework or had to study for tests. Eventually he started having N-Pacer over for study sessions, but to this day she knows that it was just an excuse for him just to have her at his house and spend time with her

He’d also be a good gym teacher. A little hardcore, but he loves teaching and coaching others and strives to see his students do their best. He volunteered as a substitute teacher at an elementary school a few times, and let's just say, those kids did not get a day off from the track. Though, they did think he was a whole lot of fun, especially when they were playing basketball with him during recess.

When he and N Pacer first met, he put her through some grueling training, but it only escalated slowly as it went on. He may have had a big ol’ crush on her, but he wasn’t gonna allow that to make him let up on her. Both because their team was striving to be the best and they needed N-Pacer to learn skills and get stronger as soon as she could, and also because they wanted that asshole in their group that was appointed by Emperor’s mom OUT as soon as possible. He was so proud when Pacer finally “graduated” from his training.

Took up learning some martial arts like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, judo, and kickboxing as a hobby. He likes to spar with Army and Goggles every so often, and teach Emperor, N-Pacer and Prince some moves. He even spared with Lilith once, and BOY did she floor him. It actually made him very excited to spar with her again while she was like '👁️👁️'.

Does not know how to cook or bake. He wasn’t as bad as Emperor during his first time learning how to cook, but his skills are… Just not that good. The best he can do is microwave foods or just putting stuff straight in the oven. Even then, he nearly burnt both his parents' house and the cottage down because he forgot to turn the oven off TWO TIMES. He's banned from the kitchen, banished! Bro cannot cook for shit. Even after Pacer and Emperor tried teaching him, he's hopeless. Never let him near Gordon Ramsay lest you want him to get eviscerated and called a soggy donkey

When he, Emperor and Pacer moved into the cottage, he installed his own a little basket court in the backyard to play basketball. Sometimes he plays by himself, or he’ll invite some buddies like the S4, Lime green team, X Bloods, Prince’s team or team Blue to come over and play.

He likes to hang around the S4, Rider and Prince, and he loves to have them over for when they have barbecues—all cooked by Emperor.

He and Aloha are party planner extraordinaires. They're also great friends.

Animals don't like him for some reason. Pigeons and other birds harass him, sea slug pets growl and try to nip at him, and Judd and Lil Judd give him the stink eye whenever he's around. It makes him very sad (HE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS MAN).

He snores so loud it's annoying. CLOSE YOUR DAMN MOUTH, BOY.

N-Pacer

Her real name is Nahla.

Omni with a preference leaning towards women, yet she scored two fellas.

Been the second shortest in the group for a long time, until Prinz suddenly got a growth spurt out of nowhere, then she became the smallest. Do not let that make you underestimate her; she will jump on you like a spider monkey if so desired.

Got a bit of chub, also mixed with some muscle due to training. Sometimes she likes to pick up Eging Jr and Emperor when they least expect it.

Girl boss on the battlefield—repressed girl failure in the public.

Loves gossiping with Headphones during their tea parties...

Pacer: “I’m not so much into drama, honestly- “

Headphones: “did you hear what Forge said to Asymmetry the other day?”

Pacer: “NOW POUR THE TEA”

She also had a part in helping Headphones hook up with Specs. (She wants to be the maid of honor at the wedding--sorry girl, it's gonna be Bobble)

When she gets mad or upset, she becomes non-verbal and refuses to speak until she feels better about. Until then, she's gonna just glare at you know to back off because she's not in the mood.

She used to wear glasses (full moon glasses to be exact; they used to be her father’s) until she started training with Emperor and Jr. She was worried her glasses would distract her so they bought her some contacts.

Her original hair color used to be light pink. There’s still a little bit of bright pink in the tips of her hair.

Clamumbian (Columbian) nationality. She can speak fluent Splatish (Spanish), but she mostly does so around her family. One time she heard Skull speaking Splatish and they ended up having an entire conversation.

She became part of the charger group, consisting of Headphones, Half-Rim, and Skull.

N Pacer grew up in an impoverished family household. Her mother couldn’t work due to a disability and her father’s job did just enough to pay the bills.

She has a little brother and a baby sister whom she has to babysit sometimes due to her father being at work and her mother busy with tedious, out of the house chores. Thankfully, her brother is well behaved enough, at least in the house.

Her father is a gentle man, more so a doormat really. Meanwhile, her mother is TERRIFYING and also very protective of Pacer. She slips that chancla off her foot like she’s unsheathing a sword. However, her mother can be a cool woman once you get to know her.

Her mother did not like the idea of her daughter hanging around a pair of over popular, stuck-up snobs from rich families, much less dating them. She was worried that they would take advantage of her poor little daughter and manipulate her into abandoning her family—which is her greatest fear.

Her mother and Emperor's mother absolutely fist fought each other before, while Squidkid Jr's mom watched, cheering "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

N-Pacer's mom won. Couple days later that's when Emperor moved out and his parents got divorced. 😂

Shes actually knows a lot about science. When she spent free time watching tv, it would usually be on a science documentary/informational channel because they didn’t have a wide range of options at the time. She’ll get into an entire rant about plate tectonics and organism evolution and end up baffling everyone at the tea party (while they’re still listening intently with some interest 😶☕️)

She used to be really unconfident with the charger, because when she first started using it, she wasn't that good at it. But then she was introduced to the splatterscope and then she ruled the stage like the queen she is.

She loves decorating for Halloween and Christmas. She's a total holiday fanatic. She also loves dressing in warm, comfy clothes and drinking her favorite tea or coffee during Fall and Winter, her two favorite seasons.

She became Emperor's cooking buddy when he started getting interested in culinary. She showed him how to make all of her well known family dishes and some of her personal favorites dishes. He likes to surprise her with her favorite foods sometimes cuz he's a nasty heterosexuaaaaaaal /j (He's pan remember?).

She also likes to paint. She wasn't as invested in it at first, but when they all moved into the cottage together, she started painting more during her free time. She originally intended to sell them for money to help support her parents, but Emperor and Eging Jr get too attached to her artwork and choose to hang up plenty of what she makes in the house or just give her canvases to her parents to admire. She’s very bashful about it.

She's always LOVED jewelry, even when her parents could never afford any due to their economic situation. But when she met Emperor, he and his cousin, Pearl, poured so many jewelry gifts onto her like a waterfall, gold rings, bracelets, diamond necklaces with matching earrings, even little tiaras and everything. It made her so happy like she was kicking her feet and giggling girly giggles. She is so adorable I love her.

She likes dream catchers. She used to ask her parents for one every Christmas or on her birthday, and they always did what they could to get her one that didn't fall apart in a matter of days. When she got older and moved out, one Christmas she bought a giant, expensive dream catcher for her parents and some for her little siblings and they all put it right over their beds. (Me out here writing Christmas family fluff on a Friday afternoon)

N-Pacer has the most ridiculous, loudest laugh you'll ever hear. It's a deep belly laugh, and it sounds so funny. You'll only hear it when she's either drunk or in genuine hysterics because it's considered her true laugh, she tries to hide it otherwise because she's embarrassed of it.

She used to not have any friends except for one snooty narcissist before she became part of team Emperor. When she did, she was expecting to gain a lot more friends due to her popularity, but as it turns out she went from "not being in anyone's league" to "no one being in her league." She gained too much social power and it made her a little sad. At least she still had her team, and she made more friends later on, so that's a win.

Can you tell I love N-Pacer so much?

By the way, here’s my post for my head canons voice claims for team Emperor!

[smukkits]

well I tried posting this once and tumblr seemingly ate it, so I shall try again but with a "see more" just in case it did already post. Anyway complicated and convoluted gender thoughts below the cut.

But I think my main frustration with gender presentation and how others inevitably perceive my gender is that to me, all physical external gender markers feel like a performance. Hair and clothing and posture and speech and makeup are all just things. Intrinsically they are neutral. They are only given meaning when put in the larger context of culture and society. Sure when I dress more masc it has a certain sort of vibe that feels "boy" to me. But it's the same feeling of putting on a show that I feel when deciding to dress very femme (used in the sense that it is perceived or associated with femininity) Neither of those things are "me" or even particularly a part of my identity. It's all just play. Putting together outfits and dying my hair and all that is like a hobby. It's an expression of myself, but in the same way making art is an expression of myself. It's things I like and that make me happy and communicate my thoughts to the rest of the world, but it's not me. I very rarely see my body as me, but rather a beautiful thing that I'm happy I get to have. But what I would consider myself is elsewhere (In my perception, emotion, memories, connections, thoughts.) So when I'm dressing myself for anything other than necessity I'm only concerned with gender markers in the same way I'm concerned about picking out something that I think will match the occasion or be a reflection of my interests and personality. There's usually an inherent superficiality to it because, as I said earlier, it all feels like performance regardless. Then of course the frustration comes from the disconnect between what I feel is a very queer internal experience, and the way I am perceived in the world, as "Woman (but kinda goth sometimes.)" And I feel this immense pressure from within myself to conform to that sort of genderqueer/nonbinary/androgynous look so that other queer people can recognize me as someone like them. And while that would also be performance, it's not usually lined up with a performance that makes me happy. I love having long hair, I tend to prefer wearing skirts and heels, there's very little in men's fashion that appeals to me (that's within my price range.) Often when I dress up very femme it doesn't feel like I'm trying to embody "girl" either. It feels much more like "not-girl in girl's clothing." Like I'm cross-dressing. Not in a way that it feels incorrect for me to be dressing femme, but in a way that feels somewhere between subversion and drag. But no one sees that, from the outside it's just girl dressing like a girl. Maybe most of this just comes down to the fact that I receive vanishingly little validation for my gender. Pretty much my partner and one friend are the only ones who really seem to "get it." (while most people are at least respectful and supportive) Though to be fair to the rest of my friends I also don't talk about my gender much because putting it into words makes it all seem rather bothersome and pointless. It maybe sounds like I'm just coveting the trans experience and letting internalized misogyny convince me that Woman=Bad. But prior to having the words to describe non-binary genders I've either been wholly ambivalent or somewhat rebellious against my assigned gender, so I know that it's more than that uncharitable notion. I guess overall I just don't feel like I have the words or the label to really express how I perceive my own gender, so "non-binary" is close enough and people know about it so I don't have to explain gender theory to coworkers or random people I meet. I think the closest I could get is philosophically agender but physically genderqueer/gender-fluid? Like I don't really believe in gender or feel gender for myself, but they're fun to play around with so why not?

This of course isn't even touching on the fact that my ideal body plan is completely unattainable, like only exists in sci-fi/fantasy unattainable. Which makes me both very sad and fairly insecure that what I really want for my body may never happen in anyone's lifetime let alone mine.

Not really sure where to leave this, just felt like I needed to type it out!

[gasmaskenby]

Me :3

howdy folks, I'm Rain and this is meant to be an introduction of me bc i think it's time i made this lol (feel free to ignore if it's in your feed, or read on i don't care too much)

About Me:

i'm a genderfluid transfem, i am usually somewhere that'd be non binary and love me some xenogenders but i can also be fem or masc depending on how i feel

i'm aromatic and asexual but i'm very comfy with romance and sex (i'm very flirty if i like you), i just don't feel attraction like other people do and frankly aroace labels can get too specific for me and i'm not ready to make my own lmao

i'm also a system, for anyone that doesn't know you'd probably want to research it yourself bc i'm not going to educate you very well but basically i have some people in my brain with me (i call them headmates). They aren't usually the one talking here so you don't need to worry about that unless you're talking to me personally and even then most of them are pretty shy to new people

If there's any questions about me as a person feel free to put them in my ask bin and i'll get around to them soon, or just read my bio to see about age or pronouns

What I Post / My Interests:

i reblog anything i find funny and that's a lot of things so expect me to be a lot of your page if you follow me

I also make my own jokes to see if people like them mainly so i might be shy and say something in the tags or i'll be funny more directly, but if you don't like my humor you may want to leave

I like lots of things but i love history stuff, music (folk punk and vocaloid are my go to genres but i love will wood too), video games, horror, anime, ttrpgs, books, and i love my friends :3

I try to not get political here since this is where i go to avoid a lot of the worlds issues for a moment but i will sometimes reblog something if it makes a point i haven't seen before and i want to share it

I'm also very horny so there will be times that i'm flirting with my mutuals somewhere or be rebloging horny stuff, usually it's very t4t bc that's who i am

Warning: The next section is horny so if you don't want to see that then get out of the ride now and have a good rest of your day :3

What I'm horny about:

Firstly i'm a switch that is very often the top, so if you're going to top me you'll have to be a little nice about it and make me feel safe (which isn't that easy)

I'm into a lot but i'll make a short list of likes and dislikes, this is NOT a comprehensive list so there will be stuff i say is more personal and you'll either have to ask me about it or just wait for me to out myself with a reblog

Likes: t4t, cuddles and other soft stuff, nipple play, cnc, furry related stuff, blood, somno, and piss

Dislikes: detrans and lots of forcefem stuff, scat and vomit, and there's probably a few i'm forgetting rn so i'll update this part later i guess

[deciduouswaves]

I think it's also important to note what it means that this is so prevalent in online venues where it's impossible to verify who people are and almost disappears completely in meat space:

This is almost certainly the result of sockpuppet campaigns by TERFs and other strains of fascists trying to insert wedges and split the queer community against itself.

It's the same thing they tried to do against the asexual spectrum folks (of which I am one, demi to be specific). It's the same thing they tried to do against bisexuals and other multispectrum folks (of which I am one). It's the same thing they tried to do against transgender folks (of which I am one) from the rest of the queer community.

And it's what they are doing now by trying to split intersex and trans from each other as well as trans masc and trans femme from each other, trans women from nonbinary from trans men.

They are trying to split the larger queer community which is strong and large and can get real progress made... Into a bunch of warring factions which can't effectively defend themselves. That's also why they are trying to inspire queer people to reject the umbrella term of queer, the most effective collective activist label we've ever had, the term we matched with on banners as a proud community to fight for lives stricken by AIDs and apathy, which we marched with on banners to protest our lack of rights and the criminalization of our love and the criminalization of every kind of sex which isn't that of straight cis perisex people.

Please don't believe there is any kind of widespread rejection within the queer community of any of the categories I mention above. In physical queer communities there may be pockets of such among the terminally online who are reacting to things said online about their groups, but... It is not widespread.

My in-person queer communities are the most life-giving parts of my existence. They are where I see love and solidarity and activism and mutual aid on a scale I see nowhere else.

Don't cut yourself of from all of that because of what you see in online spaces where TERFs have proudly bragged about how effective their sockpuppet campaigns are. Don't help them isolate you. Please.

My own immediate friend group includes half a dozen nonbinary folks at this point: I helped two of them move house recently and one other move some months back. One of my transmasc friends (they/them) who is the strongest person I've ever met comes over and opens jars for me and my wife when we are unable to open them, and I help them with trimming the trees in their backyard because I'm taller than they are. I have a weekly craft night which includes three non binary folks, three transfemmes, two transmascs, a sapphic bisexual cis woman, and a bisexual cis man (and a partridge in a pear tree, sorry, couldn't resist). Several of us are somewhere on the ace spectrum. We arrange labour trading, body doubling, transportation, one time I drove a bicycle an hour from one of my queer friends to another because the former is no longer in a situation where they can commute by bike and was happy to donate their old bike and the other needed a bike to commute (not that transporting the bike was a hardship for me, I was meeting up with both of them anyway, the only difficult thing was figuring out how to put the bike rack on my car).

The point being: we have historically had each other's backs and we still do when it comes to in-person queer communities. Just please, go offline and beyond the bars and the clubs and form friend groups, find or form activist groups, find queer coffee shops and books stores, find your queer elders in your communities.

Please, don't let yourself be isolated and cut off from the lovely support and community which is yours to contribute to and benefit from as queer people. And also, there will be people who tell you that only people with your label will understand you and will stick by you. It's not true. If I had cut myself off from everybody who isn't a trans woman, everyone who isn't demisexual or bisexual or or or... I would be so much the poorer for it in my friends and my community.

Take care out there my queer family:

We may not know each other, but I wish the best for you 💜

I’ve been feeling really sad lately bc after this latest rise in anti transmasc sentiment I’ve had to unfollow some trans women I’ve been following for literal years bc they started reblogging and posting really nasty and very uncharitable things abt transmascs on my feed. And like. These are women whose voices I very much respected and listened to, and to hear them basically say they consider me an enemy who can’t be trusted bc I want to talk about my experiences, but all of our issues are really just splash damage from bigotry directed at them and talking abt my own experiences without acknowlefing that it’s not really meant for me is wrong. It’s like. So hurtful. And it makes me feel really hopeless about the future of the trans community.

How do I fight back against that hopelessness?

it really sucks and i'm sorry you're also being affected by this. i hear people talk about this every single day and i really don't like that this is just becoming a default in the trans community in general. it seems like the default mode of most online queers is hating transmascs and trans men as if that will somehow make cishet society accept them more. it's selfish behavior.

i'm an intersex trans woman and it's hard for me to interact with the online transfem and trans woman communities, because we're seeing a new experience in the form of transradfeminism, where trans women proudly adopt the anti-man ideals from rad feminism and spread it like it's the truth. it's a sad and painful thing to say, but these trans women are doing this because they believe rad fems and women who hate men are the only "Real" women and desperately want to be seen as "real" women. it stems from their personal dysphoria rooted in manhood, how they take out their own dysphoria in being seen as men on men and mascs. it comes from a place of pain, and it is misguided. instead of directing their hatred toward transmisogyny, they keep it inside the community. it's vile.

it's really sad but trans women and transfems are not immune to being indoctrinated by rad fems and terfs. applying those ideals to being trans isn't progressive. dictating who is and isn't trans is an act of policing. feeling as though one has the right to sit there and claim to know every trans experience, claiming to be the authority on transness... it's fascism.

i'm just plain tired of hearing people make fun of afab trans people and trans men and to talk about them like they're a blight on the community. im tired of people saying things like "do we really need more men?" i'm really sick and tired of chronically online people saying that trans men "aren't real trans people". this one really pisses me off. implying that trans womanhood and transfemininity are the only "real" ways to be trans is also identity policing. what is "unreal" about trans men? i'm tired of trans men being treated like they're unreliable. i'm tired of people wearing their misogyny on their sleeve to constantly treat trans men like they are not reliable narrators. i'm tired of people thinking somehow the instant you begin identifying as a man, you benefit from patriarchy.

i'm tired that people seriously think trans men and mascs can't coin terms for their own experiences. why the hell not? they happen, just because you don't see them personally doesn't mean they don't happen. i have met and lived with so many transmascs over the years, and we've all shared very similar stories about the discrimination we face. it's not spitting in the face of anyone to coin terms like transandrophobia and antimasculism. they happen just as often as transmisogyny does, and happily participating in it only increases trans violence

these talking points are old and it sucks to see more and more trans women get indoctrinated into literal rad feminism. hating trans men will not make dysphoria around being seen as a man go away. hating trans men does not dismantle the patriarchy. hating afab people isn't progressive, it's misogynistic. hating intersex trans men isn't progressive, it's transphobic -and- intersexist. trans men deserve so much better than this. trans men are trans. trans men are people. trans men are not evil by virtue of existing

i say try to do your best to connect with and appreciate the other trans men and mascs in your life. we have to stick together. if you have transfem friends who are on your side, make sure to be there for them, too. not every trans woman is like this fortunately, most trans women are very chill about trans manhood. this is a vocal minority of people who want to be fascists and want to control and police other trans people. transradfeminism isn't progressive, it's just as bad as regular rad feminism, if not worse, because now there's an even bigger focus on hating trans people.

hating other trans people will never get you ahead in cisheteronormative society. try to take care of yourself as best as you can. really relish trans joy when you experience it. take time to affirm your gender. know that manhood is a blessing. manhood is beautiful. it is varied, nuanced, and complex. it is a wonderful thing to experience. men are not evil. men are not bad. we should never remove the accountability from individuals.

hating trans men makes you transphobic. there's just no other way to it. whether or not you accept that it's called transandrophobia, it is still transphobia, and you really should care. the trans community isn't here for just 1 type of trans person. it's here for all of us. good luck, stay safe out there. be good to yourself

[we-made-it-this-far-kid]

hi lol, came across your blog because you interacted with my gaylor post. in regards to your poll abt being a lesbian attracted to a trans man, imo it can get messy but only you can define what your sexuality label is. some trans men identify as lesbians themselves and that's okay. I would say if it's just a crush I would go ahead and say keep identifying as a lesbian and the only way I would think its necessary to change your label would be if you got involved with this person and your lesbian label made them uncomfortable for a reason that you want to respect. i think that any outside person who has no relation to you or your relationships and would try to police your labels in this way is going against the fundamentals of what it means to be queer. by excluding trans men completely from lesbianism we would have to put an arbitrary line somewhere on the difference between trans masc/trans man, and those categories don't have any meaningful differences (and neither do any other gender categories). remember labels are descriptive, not prescriptive.

source: i am a femme-ish trans masc lesbian who has identified as a lesbian since i was 13 and as a trans masc for about a year. ive also taken a few gender and sexuality studies courses and try to surround myself with open minded queer people. i am also very passionate about stopping people from label policing in the queer community lol.

sorry for long ass ask! ur blog is cool :-)

Hi fellow gaylor. That’s valid like back when I was high school and was still figuring my shit out I identified as bisexual. Then I got to college and realized I was a lesbian. Yeah that makes sense and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable if something more were to happen. Which is why I’m kind of leaning towards identifying as queer because I know I’m not attached to cisgender men but I’m also open to dating non-binary and trans people. But thank you so much!! I’ve been struggling with this the last few days. And no need to apologize!! I appreciate the ask. And the labeling thing as also felt so final to me. Like I know I don’t have to identify or label myself but I also feel this pressure that I have to. And I also feel that if I decide to come out again I’ll be judged for it. So once again thank you!!!

[limey-writes]

Hi! I absolutely love your TF2 match-ups and stories, they're so cute! If you're not too busy, could I get a match-up as well? But if you can't and/or I'm too similar to someone else you've already done, don't worry about it. I hope your day is going well! :) /gen /lh

My names are Rowen, Arcade, Enzyme, Omni, and Charlie! I'm a comorbid (ADHD + Autism), genderfluid, and polyamorous person (so if you have a toss-up or think I fit with multiple mercs, I'd date more than one). My pronoun sets are (They/Them) and (Ze/Zer/Zem/Zey). I also kinda "collect" more names and pronoun sets as I go. If there's a cool name or word that I like, or if I feel that another set of pronouns describe me as well, then bam! Mine now bitch lmao! I'm 5'7, chubby, have brown and purple hair, and use contacts and black glasses. /lh

First up, my comorbidity sort of makes me who I am in a way. If I don't know you or I'm in a place that I don't go to a lot, I heavily mask my symptoms and am a completely different person; stand-offish, quiet, observant. Once I trust you though, I let down my guard down bit by bit until I know that you and/or the place I'm in is safe. After that, I'm the loudest, most fucking unhinged person you've ever met (unless you're a merc, then I'm slightly more tolerable lmao). But I can get overstimulated too if somewhere/something is too loud. It's a very fine line. Also, as you can see, I use tone tags so that there's as little miscommunication as possible. /lh

Unmasked, I vocal stim all the time, ranging from talking to myself, to making weird noises, to repeating phrases/singing a song over and over. Sometimes I make hand gestures as well, acting out little scenarios in my head by myself or whenever I'm in thought. I also think I'm one of the funniest fucking people to exist, making myself laugh all the time with references that I'm not sure the mercs would get if they're cut off from the internet LMAO. My "feral"/unhinged-ness comes from the fact that I have severe cute-aggression, where if I find something cute then I want to either squeeze/crush/destroy it. Also if I get excited about something, depending on what it is I either hop in place, get the zoomies, or quite literally start barking and/or do this motion while growling:

For clothing/gender-presenting, I (would like to) have a bit of range. I love punk in general, as well as two sub-genres "steampunk" and "clownpunk", wanting to be threatening yet kinda soft at the same time. Think big platform combat boots with purple and yellow laces (bonus points if the mercs know lace code), black make-up, spikes 'n shit. I also love being camp and dressing in ways that absolutely set off even the most sheltered, white evangelical Christian/Mormon/Amish person's gaydar, especially if the outfit isn't stereotypical. And I *want* to dress and present feminine more, truly I do - it gets exhausting being only masc/non-binary at times. My only problem is that because I'm AFAB, people tend to not respect my pronouns and then make me feel dysphoric, so if my match(es) could help reassure me, I'd really appreciate that. /gen /srs

For my hobbies and interests, it really depends. I pick up and put down stuff so often, I can never tell if something I start to like is just another hyperfixation or if I truly want it as a staple of myself. What I *do* know is that I'm an artist, writer, and aspiring animator, even if I'm going through the world's longest creative block right now. I love video games and I'm also a spiritual person, being a baby pagan/witch. I do divination with tarot, I'm learning spells, and working with different deities to help me through my journey. Astrology plays a little bit into it as well, but only a little. I also love language!! I love the way people talk, and would love to learn more than English if I wasn't so burnt out. I know a little Spanish and Scots, and can replicate accents pretty quickly. I've also started cooking and baking, and would like to get into computer stuff, mostly software and coding but a little hardware wouldn't hurt. I also drink a bit and smoke Ms. Mary Jane, and would love to have a hotbox sesh with someone. /pos /gen

Last but absolutely NOT least, relationship stuff. My one big thing is: communication, communication, COMMUNICATION. I fucking hate it when someone gets broody/upset with me and then doesn't tell me what's wrong. How the hell am I supposed to know something if you didn't tell me about it? I'm very upfront and honest about what I want and who I am - and tbh I think that comes through in the fact that this ask is fuckin' ginormous LMAO. Some of this should probably stay private but whatever, I'm here for ACCURACY LMAO. But yeah, communication is my biggest thing and I'm super open to any discussion, serious, kinky, vulnerable, you name it. /gen /srs /pos

Along with that, I like to think of myself as a very affectionate person, even if the ways I show it are a little unorthodox. Sometimes I'm a bit more mundane; cooking, cleaning, spending time with them and doing various activities. Other times it can shine through in different ways, such as sending them videos/memes/posts I think they'd like, sitting in comfortable silence while we do our own thing, biting, and playfully bullying them with banter like "I'm gonna kick your ass!". I also do this thing where I hit my forehead against someone and say "Bonk". /lh /pos

So, uh, yeah. That's literally everything anyone would ever need to know about me, LMAO. Sorry for the long ask, I just like to be accurate. And I know that I'm a little hard to pin down, so just as a reminder, I'm polyamorous! I don't mind (and kinda prefer, but please don't stress yourself out) if I match with more than one. I hope you have as much fun writing for my match(es) as much as I did delving into my own psyche and writing it out!! But if you wanna/have to skip me, that's totally understandable. Please take care of yourself. <3 /gen /pos /lh

You've been chosen!!! Thank you for the detail, I hope you enjoy your new match and thank you for your patience!

I match you with...

Scout, Sniper, & Demo!

You fit perfectly amongst these three, of course they appreciate and love you for who you are and genuinely will fight anyone that misgenders you ofc. So lets break things down and give you a broader feel of the relationship! At first Demo might approach you, due to his friendly nature he just wants to do his best to make you feel comfortable and give you some sort of middle ground rather than you feeling out of place in a crowded spot. He'd start out complimenting your hair and strike up a conversation from there. Demo is the type of guy to somehow make friends with anyone so I'm sure he would somehow do his best to give you the best him he can muster. He talks to you about anything and everything, this man is the master of communication and will be upfront about all the things on his mind. Definitely gifts you flowers all the time and will constantly tell you how they ain't as pretty as your smile <3

Scout came soon after, the excitement riddled lad is ready to throw hands with anybody who tries dissing you, he's so full of love for you that he would gladly go feral along with you. He could walk in on you doing that image exactly and he'd root you on as the supportive man he is. Will remember each one of your names flawlessly, but will ask for help writing them just because he likes the way they look on paper, even if he can't read them too well. Oh man this man loves any sort of love you give him, he loves to bonk you back and gets very excited whenever any sort of banter comes up, this is Scout, of course he'd get super happy with any little loving bullying you guys did together. He tries to help a lot when you are cooking, though just be sure to keep an eye on him so he won't accidentally burn anything.

Now Sniper, we all know he likes to keep to himself, so it takes him a little bit to warm up to you. He's observant, and very blunt, so you can definitely trust he'll let you know if something is up! He can get when you need a moment for yourself or just need space entirely, he knows when to back up and give you a moment, and also when to swoop in and give you a lil smooch on the forehead bc he loves you (: he loves how different your styles are, and however you wanted to dress he absolutely hypes you up in his own ways. Anyone fucking with you either gets a bullet or a death glare by this lanky man, he plays no games when it comes to respecting you and your boundaries! Sniper definitely can relate to the feeling of needing to put up a front when first meeting someone, so he'll also take a bit to be able to come out of his shell and turn into the snuggly guy he is deep down and show you all sorts of forms of affection, he definitely does a lot of small things for you that he tries showing affection with but he's trying his best!

With the three together, you get a big bundle of love wrapped in a pretty bow for you! The trio love to plan together ways just to make you happy, Sniper ending up being the one that has to pull the other two out of some sticky situations that they may or may not pull you into. Scout loves to take lead and show off how great you are to anyone that's out in public, holds your hand and happily uses any pronouns you give him, in fact he even gets Demo to also join in telling anyone just about how wonderful you are as a partner to them. Can and will talk anyone's ear off about it, they are always ready to shower you with love and affection! Sniper is also very affectionate while the two are yelling their love, he on the other hand is much more subtle about it, holding hands, putting his hat on you, he's really sweet and gentle regardless so its always the best of all worlds! They'd definitely partake in cuddle piles, Sniper builds a pillow fort for everyone to enjoy time inside of, no one else allowed without the password that Scout made up on the spot...and forgot when he went to get snacks. Regardless, you've found yourself in a big bundle of love and support!

[x-honeycomb-x]

Also making this again but for dyke!

Wants to detransition (for the kink optional), or explore your gender again, but need some guidance and encouragement? Here I am. This week we're gonna have a dyke day out.

Last week we hugged a plushie and let the thought in that "It is okay to be a dyke (although it's okay to not be one too).

This week we're gonna go to have a sexless day out. We wanna (de)transition outside of sex too, so you can be a more hollistic butch. We wanna have good memories with being a dyke, and you can come back and masturate when the day's over.

Task 4 - Gather your butch supplies

Having dyke supplies helps you ground your butchness. There are so many options and you don't need to have everything. Just have at least 5 of the following

Sports bra and AFAB underwear

Feminine or gender neutral perfume

A notebook for your dyke self (must)

Some andro/dyke clothing

It's nice to grow your body hair out, it's very dyky! but shaving cream and blades would help if you wanna experiment with body hair

A haircut that is mid-length or longer, hair tie and bobby pins. Or any haircut that gives you gende envy/euphoria. There's no bad haircut, be punk about it!

A plushie you can dyke-mode around

A comfort hoodie for your dyke self

Some muscle t, croptops, cargo pants, flannels, leather or denim jacket, and converse or boots

Makeup if you want! (you don't need to do full-face makeup) since dyke fashion might be similar to trans masc fashion in some ways, your underwear and makeup could really ground you in your dykeness!

A necklace/bracelet for your dyke self! Could be anything punk, pride-related, band merch, anything metal, crystals, pronoun pins, it's up to you!

Gender roles are a social construct, but still you can enjoy gender when it makes you happy. These would help ground your gender (especially in gender-neutral moments). Put them on or just put it in your butch-supplies-bag (from Part 1, basically have a bag where you can put your dyke supplies, so you can find them easily, also helps with object permanence).

Task 5 - Being a dyke isn't only about material things and identity. It is also about taste and connections. Get your notebook out and write down the following.

List 3 music albums that your dyke self can listen to. 2 of them must be made by queer-fem artists. Add them to your Spotify.

List 2 series that is written in female-gaze. Add them to your Netflix/Disney+/HBO.

List 3 books that are written by feminine authors. Put them in your girl bag. You can also go for podcasts, add them to your Spotify/Apple Music.

Do the same for other forms of media you like. For an example Twitch streamers. Visual artists. Magazines.

Listen to the music, watch the shows in a queer-fem perspective. How does the plots or contexts relate to you differently if/when you're a queer-fem? You can also watch your regular favorite shows and feel that difference. You can connect to the world as a dyke, and it doesn't have to be sexual or degrading.

PS. I said "feminine artists" because femininity can come from gender-diverse people. It could be made by non-binary people, and please consider trans or queer women's work too.

Have you prepared the above? You can go into this immediately, or you can give it 1-2 days to settle in first. When you're ready, we are having a day out.

Task 6 - Have a day out (sexless one)

Put on your clothes, underwear, keep your body hair or shave your legs etc, complete 5 or above in Task 4, and let's pull out Google Map and choose somewhere to be.

It could be a museum, a park, a library, a neighborhood, a concert, a tourist spot, a cafe etc. Repeat to yourself the name and the pronouns you want to experiment with, and try to perceive and interact with the world as them.

You don't need to be extra feminine, or visibly queer, or pass to have this day out. Try to imagine a trans woman just starting out on her transition, she might not fit into society's gender or passing expectations, but you would still be supportive of her. Support yourself the way you would encourage her if you get dysmorphic, worrying that you do not pass or look weird. You're okay. There are many ways to be a dyke and a human.

It might be hard to look visibly queer, when you've been on testosterone for a while, and your outfit might be too gender neutral for you to pass as dyke, but that's okay! It's not necessarily about how you're perceived, but how you experience today for yourself. Again, I find underwear and makeup very grounding and validating.

Let yourself take it slow and enjoy this day as a dyke. If you have any thoughts, worries, things you wanna try, inspirations, write it down in your dyke notebook. Let your inner dyke be heard. Let yourself get inspired by them.

I find it a beautiful experience to experience queer-tomboy-ness on my own terms. In the past I was so reluctant to identify with tomboyness or being a masculine woman, because I am a boy in the inside, but due to my anatomy and gender presentation, I am only seen as a masculine woman, and it has made me too dysphoric to revisit butchness. I have spent quite a lot of time wanting to enjoy masculinity in a gender-diverse way, one that allows me to connect with my femininity, one that allows me to connect with my wlw energy, which didn't feel like an option to me. Personally, I now identify as a boy dyke (in a genderfluid way).

Being a dyke outside of bed can bring up a lot of shame and imposter-syndrome, and they're completely valid, and they are feelings that need to be sat with. But it could also feel empowering - Look at me, I have very masc-passing features, but I am still in touch with afab features, and wlw energy, and I am a mix of gender right now and yet here I stand. And you know what, being in leather and muscle t makes me feel very powerful too.

You can enjoy the non-sexual aspects of being a dyke, and you're allowed to enjoy them.

I hope you had a good day out. If you find some nice jewelleries at gift shops or thrift stores, get them! You will need it for Part 3. If i ever get around to writing one. Haha!!

Detransitioning you// Your ftmtf mother is here - Part 2

See here for part 1

Wants to detransition for the kink, and need some guidance and encouragement? Here I am. This week we're gonna have a girl day out.

Last week we hugged a plushie and let the thought in that "It is okay to be a girl (although it's okay to not be one too".

This week we're gonna go to have a sexless day out. We wanna detransition outside of sex too, so you can be a more hollistic girl. We wanna have good memories with being a girl, and you can come back and masturate when the day's over.

Task 4 - Gather your girly supplies

Having girly supplies helps you ground your femininiy. There are so many and you don't need to have everything. Just have at least 5 of the following

Sports bra and AFAB underwear

Feminine or gender neutral perfume

A notebook for your girl self (must)

Some feminine clothing

Shaving cream and blades

A haircut that is mid-length or longer, hair tie and bobby pins

A plushie you can girl-mode around

A comfort hoodie for your girl self

Feminine phone case

Makeup (you don't need to do full-face makeup)

A necklace/bracelet for your girl self

Gender roles are a social construct, but still you can enjoy gender when it makes you happy. These would help ground your femininity (especially in gender-neutral moments). Put them on or just put it in your girl-supplies-bag (from Part 1, basically have a bag where you can put your girly supplies, so you can find them easily, also helps with object permanence).

Task 5 - Being a girl isn't only about material things and identity. It is also about taste and connections. Get your notebook out and write down the following.

List 3 music albums that your girl self can listen to. 2 of them must be made by feminine artists. Add them to your Spotify.

List 2 series that is written in female-gaze. Add them to your Netflix/Disney+/HBO.

List 3 books that are written by feminine authors. Put them in your girl bag. You can also go for podcasts, add them to your Spotify/Apple Music.

Do the same for other forms of media you like. For an example Twitch streamers. Visual artists. Magazines.

Listen to the music, watch the shows in a feminine perspective. How does the plots or contexts relate to you differently if/when you're a woman? You can also watch your regular favorite shows and feel that difference. You can connect to the world as a girl, and it doesn't have to be sexual or degrading.

PS. I said "feminine artists" because femininity can come from gender-diverse people. It could be made by non-binary people, and please consider trans or queer women's work too.

Have you prepared the above? You can go into this immediately, or you can give it 1-2 days to settle in first. When you're ready, we are having a day out.

Task 6 - Have a day out (sexless one)

Put on your clothes, underwear, shave your legs etc, complete 5 or above in Task 4, and let's pull out Google Map and choose somewhere to be.

It could be a museum, a park, a library, a neighborhood, a concert, a tourist spot, a cafe etc. Repeat to yourself the name and the pronouns you want to experiment with, and try to perceive and interact with the world as her.

You don't need to be extra feminine or pass to have this day out. Try to imagine a trans woman just starting out on her transition, she might not fit into society's gender or passing expectations, but you would still be supportive of her. Support yourself the way you would encourage her if you get dysmorphic, worrying that you do not pass or look weird. You're okay. There are many ways to be a woman and a human.

Let yourself take it slow and enjoy this day as a woman. If you have any thoughts, worries, things you wanna try, inspirations, write it down in your girl notebook. Let your inner girl be heard. Let yourself get inspired by her.

I have tried this and have come back with a lot more appreciation for myself and my femininity. I have come to realize that my femininity is more than the trauma that she experienced. And there is in fact a lot of life and joy in her than I expected. And on the other hand, sometimes I come back soaked and excited. Go on, ride your hand, touch yourself in your girly clothes and bra, you've earned it.

Being a girl outside of bed can be exhilirating and empowering. It makes my post-nut clarity after gender play feel lighter too, it helped with my self-hatred and let me be less shut off. It doesn't have to mean you're detransitioning irl seriously. Remember that people who like pup play also like non-sexual pup activities such as eating from dog bowls or petting. You can enjoy the non-sexual aspects of being a girl, and you're allowed to enjoy them.

I hope you had a good day out. If you find some nice jewelleries at gift shops or thrift stores, get them! You will need it for Part 3.

[vimbry-moved]

You have been prompted hit us with those ideas :)

so shockingly, it’s a yotsubato au idea. I hope that’s what was expected haha but um. I've just been thinking about mr yousuke koiwai actually being trans. and by extension the one who had yotsuba. :)

I’m being super indulgent here in that he is someeewhere on the non-binary spectrum. teetering on masc; presenting as masc, refers to himself in a masculine way for convenience because you know, explaining that identity to people is hard and potentially troublesome. it doesn’t really bother him, so long as it’s not his agab.

he’s stealth, of course. moving away to the suburbs with new people made this a hell of a lot easier. apart from with his immeadiate family, naturally. and jumbo, he’s aware too, cause they were friends from being little and it’d be pretty unavoidable. yanda isn’t; koiwai was already presenting as male by the time they met and it just never comes up. he prob never even makes much of an effort to have it be a secret around him, he’s just cis, naive, and oblivous lmao but he’s a good guy really.

the reason the name yousuke took so long to crop up in the series is because he spent a very long time choosing it. he’s not really encountered anyone in the past 5 months of the manga’s timeline who ever needs to know/use his given name, anyway. even his bestie settled on referring to him by his family name until he felt comfortable with one and now it’s sorta stuck.

despite his family’s general acceptance and support of koiwai, they don’t actually know that he’s yotsuba’s bio parent. they highly Suspected it, but they didn’t pry, and he wouldn’t tell, so they eventually pushed it out of mind as families will do with things and it became irrelevant. she was an adorable big hit with everyone when they eventually came back home anyway, so that was more the focus! altho I do like the idea of jumbo being the exception, how there’s some things you could tell your closest loyal friend but not your family. it might’ve just slipped out between them.

jumbo got caught off guard when ena asked him about yotsuba’s mother and came up with “oh she was uhhh abandoned. she doesn’t have one” on the spot, and koiwai just rolled with that when fuuka later asked about it. look he even stalls a sec while trying to think something up. :)

“(internally panicking and buffering) hahaha yea an orphan right jumbo’s such a jokester haha - it’s true tho”

as for her real origins, it’s as boring and simple as you’d expect from a character frequently described as casually irresponsible lmao. (nah I’ll cut him some slack. sometimes things can’t be avoided/you’re on T and think it’s an impossibility, easily done). you've had a lot of heavy projects to deal with, you find a local lgbt friendly hotspot to wind down in, you end up meeting someone, it happens all the time. so he got stuck somewhere overseas in some apartment "””working away””” a little longer than anticipated.

his age was confirmed in an interview with the creator as “very early 30s”, so this would put him in his mid-to-late 20s when yotsuba’s born. still a bit in flux with his identity, this definitely not helping. took a few years to get everything together and return to japan.

we all know the experience of navigating gender can sure be, difficult. koiwai’s still a relatively young guy, and like most people, is taking things each day at a time. so I’m also just gonna go ahead and use this au to overexplain the basic style-shifting in-universe as hormone treatment microdosing/trying out different ways to present as the months progress aha. I mean, he looks SO drastically different. I know a few of them do but man! that is 2 different guys.

(also why he has that little bit of stubble there in chapter 7 and never again. unfortunately discovered that he’s apparently very good at growing a beard. didn’t like it, not for him. shaving is one of the few things he will force himself to do often. thanks azuma for deciding to draw him unshaven once and then likely deciding it was too tedious to replicate in future chapters so I can take this n run with it).

yotsuba’s also unaware that she’s Not adopted because she’s 5 and would tell everyone lol. also koiwai’s built up these nerves and reluctance around sharing it. it’s one of his reasons for harshly reinforcing how she shouldn’t lie. he’s projecting in keeping an especially large one up around her himself, and he also wants to raise her to feel she can always be honest with him about anything. she’s probably told one day as she gets older anyway. I think it’d be cute if they ended up looking super alike. 🥺

anyway yes thank you that is my thoughts !

[askanonbinary]

hihi this is for mod Zoe Leo! i came across an old post of yours about he/they Sam Winchester and in the post you mentioned a ton of your personal queer/trans headcanons. you seemed very enthusiastic about them and even said we could ask you about some so i was wondering if you could explain them? namely Meredith Gray as n-b, Cas as transmasc, and Dean Winchester as transfem genderqueer? i LOVE hearing other people’s trans headcanons as a trans enby (I usually adopt them too lol). thanks!

jklasdjfkl this makes me happy!

Okay so! Meredith: So when I look at early seasons Meredith and her insistence on dark and twisty Mere, I see a nb person genuinely unsure of her place in the world. Because Mere's journey is very much one of coming into herself. One where she was placed in this box (surgeon) her whole life and she had to find out through trial and error where she fit. Remember when she thought she was gonna be in neuro because Derek was? That whole "been stuck somewhere and I don't feel like I fit gotta figure out me wtf" experience is very non-binary.

So this headcanon started from a place of seeing that journey and being like "yeah, that could be a good allegory!" But then as the show went on, and she came into herself... I just genuinely don't think she gives the cis woman vibe to me. And it comes down to where that "I'm an enigma! I can't be figured out!' energy that she had in the early seasons settled. I feel like it settled as she got older in a place where her entire personhood is built on the fact that she's predictably unpredictable. It's why we, as an audience, love her and it's why the other characters love her too.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Amelia - who is the queerest character the Greysverse has ever seen and how Meredith's interactions with her always felt a little... internalized... to me. Like she sees Amelia and is afraid of something deep in herself.

Cas: So this explanation is a lot shorter. So to me, the angels are genderless and Cas landed in a male vessel and ended up identifying with this male gender which makes him transmasc. I just see the angels as completely fluid and genderless and having a gender identity at all is what makes an angel Trans. So Cas having a masculine gender identity makes him trans masc.

Dean: I mean...... There's so much. So this is a post I mad on my personal years ago about dmab genderfluid dean and it holds up... the femme stuff is 100% there. Then there's the fact that he's fem coded by the narrative, as in his position in the narrative structure is the position that women tend to be put in. And like... if you headcanon him actually transfem that whole thing gets so much MORE. And then there's the fact that he was fem coded by the narrative as in his position in his family is feminine and if you headcanon him transfem that whole thing gets so much MORE.

But Dean is also an enigma. He's... Too Much for people... For everyone... in the story, in the fandom, in the writers' room. Everyone seems to place him in this box of Performance where he Performs his life rather than lives it... And if you read into that... I just feel like isn't that what all of us non-binaries are doing. Like we're here, we're queer, we're not going away... But also........ It's almost never that we're Really Seen for ourselves. So we're constantly playing pretend. We're constantly performing and putting on a show. We're constantly trying to hold ourselves in a space in between too masculine and too feminine because both are Just Performances and in that we end up Still Performing somewhere in the middle. Is that not Dean Winchester's whole life?

I have so much more I could say about this, but I genuinely don't know where to start or finish... Dean just is transfem genderqueer to me. He's so... In your face uncategorizical in a very feminine way that just... screams transfem genderqueer.

[smukkits]

Been idly thinking about my gender a lot lately, and I figure if I'm going to ramble about it publicly anywhere it should be on tumblr. But I think my main frustration with gender presentation and how others inevitably perceive my gender is that to me, all physical external gender markers feel like a performance. Hair and clothing and posture and speech and makeup are all just things. Intrinsically they are neutral. They are only given meaning when put in the larger context of culture and society. Sure when I dress more masc it has a certain sort of vibe that feels "boy" to me. But it's the same feeling of putting on a show that I feel when deciding to dress very femme (used in the sense that it is perceived or associated with femininity) Neither of those things are "me" or even particularly a part of my identity. It's all just play. Putting together outfits and dying my hair and all that is like a hobby. It's an expression of myself, but in the same way making art is an expression of myself. It's things I like and that make me happy and communicate my thoughts to the rest of the world, but it's not me. I very rarely see my body as me, but rather a beautiful thing that I'm happy I get to have. But what I would consider myself is elsewhere (In my perception, emotion, memories, connections, thoughts.) So when I'm dressing myself for anything other than necessity I'm only concerned with gender markers in the same way I'm concerned about picking out something that I think will match the occasion or be a reflection of my interests and personality. There's usually an inherent superficiality to it because, as I said earlier, it all feels like performance regardless. Then of course the frustration comes from the disconnect between what I feel is a very queer internal experience, and the way I am perceived in the world, as "Woman (but kinda goth sometimes.)" And I feel this immense pressure from within myself to conform to that sort of genderqueer/nonbinary/androgynous look so that other queer people can recognize me as someone like them. And while that would also be performance, it's not usually lined up with a performance that makes me happy. I love having long hair, I tend to prefer wearing skirts and heels, there's very little in men's fashion that appeals to me (that's within my price range.) Often when I dress up very femme it doesn't feel like I'm trying to embody "girl" either. It feels much more like "not-girl in girl's clothing." Like I'm cross-dressing. Not in a way that it feels incorrect for me to be dressing femme, but in a way that feels somewhere between subversion and drag. But no one sees that, from the outside it's just girl dressing like a girl. Maybe most of this just comes down to the fact that I receive vanishingly little validation for my gender. Pretty much my partner and one friend are the only ones who really seem to "get it." (while most people are at least respectful and supportive) Though to be fair to the rest of my friends I also don't talk about my gender much because putting it into words makes it all seem rather bothersome and pointless. It maybe sounds like I'm just coveting the trans experience and letting internalized misogyny convince me that Woman=Bad. But prior to having the words to describe non-binary genders I've either been wholly ambivalent or somewhat rebellious against my assigned gender, so I know that it's more than that uncharitable notion. I guess overall I just don't feel like I have the words or the label to really express how I perceive my own gender, so "non-binary" is close enough and people know about it so I don't have to explain gender theory to coworkers or random people I meet. I think the closest I could get is philosophically agender but physically genderqueer/gender-fluid? Like I don't really believe in gender or feel gender for myself, but they're fun to play around with so why not?

This of course isn't even touching on the fact that my ideal body plan is completely unattainable, like only exists in sci-fi/fantasy unattainable. Which makes me both very sad and fairly insecure that what I really want for my body may never happen in anyone's lifetime let alone mine.

Not really sure where to leave this, just felt like I needed to type it out!

[dengswei]

hi i am so sorry like sorry if you dont want to or feel uncomfortable answering this question then please you do not need to but i was wondering what you have been gender identifying yourself as over the years? because same here, i am also in the same boat and i have been saying i am an aroace bi and i want to use pan but i dont want to use that when i havent really stepped foot out that far but i dont know it makes me confuse like i dont know if this even makes sense

hey! honestly i don't mind answering at all! please don't apologise ☺️💙💜 i've gone through a few labels am ngl because gender is weird, this got a bit long so i'll put it under the cut :)

when i first realised i wasn't cis (which was when i think i was 17-18 i can't remember) i went by non-binary and not long after that genderfluid as well but then i realised genderfluid didn't really fit anymore (i think i mostly identified with genderfluid because i was scared/a little bit of internalised nonbinaryphobia perhaps because i considered my self fluid between my agab & agender)

so after that i started to go by non-binary & agender (i also like gendervoid as well), i still think i am both non-binary and agender but there are times where i think maybe i might be fluid or flux (oh irony) on the masc side but i also think not because it happens usually when i'm dysphoric

my gender crisises happen either when i'm about to get my period (usually about a week before) and i tend to want to strip away everything related to my AGAB (this one of the reasons why i've taken my other pronouns out of my bio) and when i get misgendered a lot because i don't actually have people i'm out to irl so i don't have anyone to bounce my pronouns, gender related terms, and my name off of so i can't really tell if i like those used for me (that's why i'm really grateful that a lot of my oomfs/mutuals use my name when they talk to me/about me 💙💜) and personally i think i come across androgonous but no one else in real life sees it that way 😅😔

my agenderness is very much similar to my aroaceness how i didn't realise what i felt (or rather didn't feel) was different to everyone else so for a long time i thought i was cis and then the gates slowly started opening when i discovered my sexuality (yeah i figured that out before my gender 😂 actually i think discovering asexuality specficially helped me in discovering that i'm agender because they're very similar for me in a lot of senses, esp my journey with them both)

& it does make sense please don't worry! questioning anything is scary and daunting and you don't really know where to begin i understand completely 💙💜 and you can use which ever labels you want! i know people who go by both bi and pan, which ever label feels more you. You don't have to fit a label perfectly to try it out, and you don't need to use a label at all ☺️ (me @ me take your own advice 😂)

this why i love umbrella terms for my gender like non-binary and genderqueer (which is why i tend to say i'm non-binary over agender) because gender is weird and sometimes you can't understand it but that's okay because gender is different for everyone

this is why i love to use queer to encompass my whole identity (gender & sexuality) because it wraps it all in a neat box and it saves having to explain everything that usually comes with telling people my complicated gender or sexuality lol

& even if in the end you realise you're not that label it's okay! there's nothing wrong with realising you were wrong sometimes you need to stop off somewhere for a detour to figure yourself out before reaching your final destination 💙💜

my ask box is always open if you want to talk some more 💙💜

hey! honestly i don't mind answering at all! please don't apologise ☺️💙💜 i've gone through a few labels am ngl because gender is weird, this got a bit long so i'll put it under the cut :)

when i first realised i wasn't cis (which was when i think i was 17-18 i can't remember) i went by non-binary and not long after that genderfluid as well but then i realised genderfluid didn't really fit anymore (i think i mostly identified with genderfluid because i was scared/a little bit of internalised nonbinaryphobia perhaps because i considered my self fluid between my agab & agender)

so after that i started to go by non-binary & agender (i also like gendervoid as well), i still think i am both non-binary and agender but there are times where i think maybe i might be fluid or flux (oh irony) on the masc side but i also think not because it happens usually when i'm dysphoric

my gender crisises happen either when i'm about to get my period (usually about a week before) and i tend to want to strip away everything related to my AGAB (this one of the reasons why i've taken my other pronouns out of my bio) and when i get misgendered a lot because i don't actually have people i'm out to irl so i don't have anyone to bounce my pronouns, gender related terms, and my name off of so i can't really tell if i like those used for me (that's why i'm really grateful that a lot of my oomfs/mutuals use my name when they talk to me/about me 💙💜) and personally i think i come across androgonous but no one else in real life sees it that way 😅😔

my agenderness is very much similar to my aroaceness how i didn't realise what i felt (or rather didn't feel) was different to everyone else so for a long time i thought i was cis and then the gates slowly started opening when i discovered my sexuality (yeah i figured that out before my gender 😂 actually i think discovering asexuality specficially helped me in discovering that i'm agender because they're very similar for me in a lot of senses, esp my journey with them both)

& it does make sense please don't worry! questioning anything is scary and daunting and you don't really know where to begin i understand completely 💙💜 and you can use which ever labels you want! i know people who go by both bi and pan, which ever label feels more you. You don't have to fit a label perfectly to try it out, and you don't need to use a label at all ☺️ (me @ me take your own advice 😂)

this why i love umbrella terms for my gender like non-binary and genderqueer (which is why i tend to say i'm non-binary over agender) because gender is weird and sometimes you can't understand it but that's okay because gender is different for everyone

this is why i love to use queer to encompass my whole identity (gender & sexuality) because it wraps it all in a neat box and it saves having to explain everything that usually comes with telling people my complicated gender or sexuality lol

& even if in the end you realise you're not that label it's okay! there's nothing wrong with realising you were wrong sometimes you need to stop off somewhere for a detour to figure yourself out before reaching your final destination 💙💜

my ask box is always open if you want to talk some more 💙💜

[the-queer-look]

Queer Uber Fund

Name: Gloria Demillo Age: 25 Location: Melbourne Occupation: Digital Copywriter/Poet Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Gender: Non-Binary

I used to really care about how I presented, especially in the workplace because I work in both a corporate environment, and in art spaces, people expect you to look a certain way if your gender is a certain way. Sometimes I think people expect me to be more masc, which I find strange in art spaces, I said I was Non-Binary, not that I was masc y’know? People will send me audition callouts for acting with “identifies as trans-masc” on them which is always weird. Honestly I just wear what I feel comfortable in, or for the weather, which is a statement in and of itself. Before I realised I was non-binary it was very performative – I really did dress for other people, or how they perceive me, or how I want them to perceive me. But now I just don’t care, as long as they perceive me as hot.

I’ve always had a feeling about not being straight, but I’ve never had the language for it because I grew up in a very conservative christian church. It was like “gay is bad” but all of the language around it was centred on men, with nothing to say about women being with women, or both. Like… what’s the grey area there? I was raised and socialised as a woman so… was this only a male centric sin? I started to have a language for it at uni, which helped because I found ways to discuss something I’d always felt, but didn’t know how to explain. When I look back at my childhood and how I expressed myself it just… makes sense. I had this favourite shirt, just a really dark shirt with a lion on it, and I’d always wear it with these little pink shoes with pom poms on it, and that aesthetic of really daggy clothes with really nice shoes is really the modern queer aesthetic.

It was mid 2019 when I realised I was non-binary and then I came out in October of that year, but there was such a long process. I was thinking about gender in uni, and then when I was experimenting more with how I presented myself and letting go of a lot of the ways in which I was socialised to behave. Being socialised as a woman was really violent for me – I don’t know how else to describe it – I had a lot of expectations put on me about my body, and how I should act, and how I should be in relationships, and when I was dealing with all of that gender stuff, it was very freeing to no longer have to live up to this arbitrary standard that was forced upon me. It was also much easier for me to talk about it because I was surrounded by so many lovely trans and non-binary friends, but of course talking to my cis friends about it was very… ugh...

I think when I found the language for my sexuality not much changed in the way I presented myself, it wasn’t until I found the language to express my gender as non-binary that there was a change in the way I thought about myself and how I was being perceived my relationship with my body. I really felt it, It was such a different transformation, I was so genuinely happier in my body, and stopped caring about how other people perceived me, and whether or not my presentation made sense to other people. I’ve stopped wearing clothes that are really tight. I don’t know why, but everything I had before coming out about being non-binary was very tight, very fitted, and now everything is very loose and flowy. It isn’t that I don’t like my body, I love my body, but now mostly what I wear is loose and billowy and doesn’t hug me so tightly.

To me the term Queer encompasses a description of my gender and sexuality that isn’t just one thing because its such a broad label. The way it was introduced to me was like a very radical and subversive way to refer to ones gender and sexuality, and I love that it’s been reclaimed by the community as a whole, though I completely understand those parts of the community that are uncomfortable with the term being used at all due to the way it was used in derogatory ways for so long, especially when used by persons outside the community. I’m sure that there’s going to be a generation coming up that will have no negative associations with that word, in the same way that I have younger queer friends that refer to each other using the F slur as a term of endearment, when I wouldn’t use it with most people.

I’ve always had a lot of queer friends, but I don’t think I started going to a lot of queer specific parties until the last three or for years. Queer events too, drag shows, musicians, poets and artists and other queer specific events. It hit a point where I just didn’t want to go to another straight club. They don’t feel safe, and I cannot just sit there and listen to another Ed Sheeran or Drake song when I want to dance y’know? I’m not a huge fan of the fact that queer events always focus around a party or something, I just want a quiet queer event like a queer book club or something. I’m going to join a queer climbing club or something, just be more involved.

I love being around other queer people, but there’s also a lot of racists around. Just because the event is queer does not mean the event is safe. You’d think that we would have dealt with intersectionality by now. Genderqueer people are more aware because we live on the margins of society and have for like… ever. But I find it really frustrating when people create queer events that aren’t accessible – people with different sensory needs, comfortable for people of colour, accessible for people with physical difficulties etc. I remember the first time I went to a queer club event with a quiet room and I lost my mind, like I wanna be at the club for six hours, but I want to sit down and have a break with just a little noise for a while y’know? It was so beautiful and safe.

K: What challenges do you see still facing the queer community today? Gloria: Racism

There are so many things, being trans-non-binary and a POC I get to see it all but like. People within the community that just straight up hate trans people? The phobia is coming from inside the house! Unlearn that shit queers! Some people in the community get rights? Like they can get married, get recognised, and then they turn around and say “us? we’re the good gays” shut the fuck up. Yeah, internalised phobias within the community? We need to unlearn that as a group, that’s a group effort.

Racism, ablism etc, we need to get rid of those because intersectionality is a thing. I also think that there’s so many laws that are trying to literally kill people in the community so like… I don’t know if we need to crowd fund some community lawyers or something, but we need to get some protections from these people who are out here doing their most to keep us down. I also think that cishet people really need to do better, even the ones that say they’re all about allyship will say that they’re on your side and then take you right to a straight club and like hey, what’re we doing here? I think cishet people don’t understand that there are certain spaces that, for non cishet people, are just inherently unsafe y’know? There isn’t any thought as to how their queer friends are safe going somewhere, or how they’re presenting is safe. When cishet people come into spaces that are meant for queer people yeah it’s just a party and a grand old time, but queer people don’t have that same privilege or concept of space y’know? At a straight club I could just disappear because some homophobe clocks me as queer and has a problem and what would y’all do about that? Cishet people walk around like life is this RPG that they’ve unlocked all parts of, and are free to go anywhere, and just don’t realise that there are places that they perceive as totally safe that are completely unsafe for any queer person to be in. We can’t even go to certain countries? We can’t live in certain suburbs of Sydney! People get bashed in fucking Newtown for being gay. Cishet people, especially if you say you’re an ally, or go into our spaces to have fun, why don’t you take a few seconds to think about the safety of your queer friends? Why don’t you pay for our Ubers and shit, make sure we get home? don’t just text me “are you home safe?” be about it!

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please contact us if you are interested in taking part

[shepavellan-blogs]

I just wanna say this somewhere while it's on my mind.

This hatred of men that has gotten so pervasive in the LGBT+ community is harmful. To men, women, nonbinary folk, everyone in between. But, I can't speak for everyone. I am a nonbinary transmasc person, and I only know how it affects me, and I just want to put it out there.

Talking about men the way we so often do puts it into our minds that all men are monsters, and more specifically, that they're out to hurt women. Not to mention that if you're masc aligned and only attracted to women, you're a traitor to both the community and women. I am 100% certain this stems from terf ideology, but it surely has other sources contributing to it as well. I am terrified of the idea of being fully trans. I'm terrified of being attracted only to women. And it's because of this. Because if I am a man who only wants women, I'm a monster. If I choose to live my life as a man, I'm a traitor. Half the time I wonder if I only say I'm bi to appease the part of myself that's afraid. I really don't know. Not to mention I constantly question my own gender identity. There's a part of me that thinks it would be easier to just accept being a woman, or a femme aligned non-binary person, because the women spaces in the LGBT+ community would accept me. But I know it's not who I am.

Am I full a trans man? I don't know. I don't think so. But I can't know for certain, because of this fear. Am I really bi? I don't know. I'm too afraid to question it too thoroughly.

The worst part about it is, throughout writing this, I have had to struggle not to say something like "don't get me wrong, cis men piss me off too." To ensure everyone knows I'm in on it, that I have a problem with them too. And I do want to hold men accountable for the shit they often do, just as I want to hold everyone accountable for their actions.

But saying all men are monsters? That's beyond cruel.

[twinmiki]

If You're Undergoing Top Surgery Soon, Treat Yourself to These Essentials

Originally published on Cosmopolitan by Desi Sulca November 18, 2020.

rom Cosmopolitan

When people think of top surgery, or the removal of breast tissue to treat distress due to a person's current physical gender expression, per the Mayo Clinic, they mostly think of female to male (FTM) folks receiving "gender affirmation" surgery. That's definitely a thing, but there also are plenty of people who live somewhere between or outside the binary of male and female, like me! Even though we're not out here trying to "affirm" a "gender," some of us find this surgery to be an important part of living an authentic life.

For most, receiving the surgery usually entails patiently waiting on a literal waiting list for months before the surgery date is officially confirmed. Once it is, you've gotta prep for taking time off of work, clearing your social cal, and, uh, planning to be the proud owner of tyrannosaurus rex arms for an entire month. (Translation: You'll be unable to lift your arms or pick up anything heavier than five pounds.)

People are often left to rely on family members or their partners to aid them during recovery. And while some may say it’s not the cutest time in a person's life, I *do* think you can treat yourself as you heal up.

Whether you’re trans masc, trans man, a non-binary or genderqueer individual, a lesbian, two-spirit and find that top surgery is right for you, these are just a few suggestions to get the ball rolling with post-op care.

MANY PILLOWS You want to be literally surrounded by pillows for the first few weeks. That's because you won't be able to sleep on your back or your side without the support of pillows. Here are a few must-haves to make you feel like pillow royalty.

JFYI: If you’re on T or just regularly get overheated, being stuck in bed or with pillows around you sounds suffocating, the BedGear pillow will keep your body temperature cool for hours.

LOOSE BUTTON UPS, ROBES, AND HOODIES With you've got little arm function, these are an absolute must-have during recovery. People who have had top surgery recommend getting a size up because of swelling, and I recommend getting silk/soft material to not irritate your skin.

FOOD SERVICES Meal prepping is big for those who have to go through top surgery without someone to make every meal for them, and what’s a better way to do it than ordering already made meals in bulk to put in your fridge/freezer for the month?

BIDET During the first 30 days, it’s going to be hard to reach certain places, that includes cleaning yourself fully. These affordable bidets are perfect for anyone who wants to feel as clean as possible during their recovery.

TOWLETTES You won’t be able to shower for a few days. If you don’t have a partner or a caretaker to really help ya, give these a shot.

GINGER CHEWS It's super common to feel nauseous after major surgery, per UCLA Health. These ginger chews might help take the edge off.

HYDRATION Your body is healing and might need extra support with hydration. With that in mind, these packs are clutch.

EASY SLIP ON SHOES Good for taking walks around the house without wiping out during the recovery time.

FANNY PACK For the first few days you’ll have drains attached to you. You’ll have to pin them to your clothes or find a bag to store them in. FWIW, I chose to put them in a fanny pack. Style meets recovery.

PROBIOTICS It’s common to be irregular after, so it’s recommended to either get laxatives or probiotics to aid your tummy. My favorite way to consume is kombucha.

LARGE CUP AND STRAW These are lifesavers when you need to rest (see: lay) as much as possible. Everyone who's had top surgery has told me it's essential.

Tushy is a bidet startup which aims to replace toilet paper, Tushy was founded by Miki Agrawal.